


Fairy Tale Night Vale

by RadioActivity



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Anal Sex, Carlos is Human, Cecil is Inhuman, Cecil is Mostly Human, Exhibitionism, Kidnapping, M/M, Masturbation, Omniscient Cecil, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Tentacles, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, Voyeurism, fairy tale AU, implied sub/dom, werewolf!cecil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-15 07:36:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1296751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioActivity/pseuds/RadioActivity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of one shots, based off of various fairy tales, given a little Night Vale Flair. Tags will change as I go on and add more chapters. Chapter one is Beauty and the Beast. Chapter two is Boy Who Cried Werewolf. Chapter Three is Rapunzel. Chapter four is Alice in Wonderland</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beauty and the Beast

The sun slanted in through the windows, which was odd because the windows were on the north side of the house. Then again, in their experience, everything was weird here in Night Vale. There was a slight breeze blowing outside, but the windows were shut tight against the vast, immeasurable heat. "Oof. All this equipment is so freakin' heavy, Carlos. I understand needing research materials..." the other scientist muttered. "But did you really need to pack all 200 of your books?"

"I need all of them." Carlos answered, offhandedly, opening up a box and beginning to go through it, shaking the sand out from between the pages, his mind far removed from his coworker. "Thanks for helping me get moved in, Aaron."

"Oof, no problem," Aaron rubbed his shoulder, glancing around the room piled high with books and lab equipment and who knew what all else. "This place -this… town?- sure is weird, isn't it?... Do you need help with anything else?" 

"That's it." He answered, digging through a box. "I can't wait to see what secrets this town holds."

"Cool, alright." The other scientist stretched. "I'm gonna go check out this house that doesn't exist." 

"Go for it." Carlos answered. "Let me know how it goes."

"Oh yeah..." Aaron held up his phone and snapped a photo of Carlos. "Smile." He scurried out of the room, leaving Carlos to look annoyed. 

"Ugh, my hair's a mess and everything." Carlos muttered. "I'll pay him back for that later." 

 

Aaron drove up to the non-existant house, and he found the sky darkened and it became harder to see the closer he got to it. He walked up the steps, and walked around the house. “Huh… I’ll need to take some samples…” He took a scrape off the door, storing that away. There was a pot of flowers next to the front door. Aaron smirked, picking one up. “I think Carlos would love an imaginary flower.” 

As he went to walk away, the door flew open and something flew out, binding his arms and legs to his torso. “Who dares disturb my home?” A creature demanded. “You would steal from me, and simply leave?” 

“Ahhhh-” Aaron shrieked, his phone falling from his pocket as he struggled. “Please, wait, I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking, I just, I took a sample for my scientist coworker to analyze, I promise I wasn’t trying to steal from you!” 

The tentacle-like things slammed him down into the ground as their owner registered confusion. “A scientist?” The beautiful, seductive voice belonging to those terrifying, horrifying tentacles drawled, in enough of a way to make Aaron deeply uncomfortable. “Hmmm… Prove it.” 

“I have- have a picture of him on my phone. Carlos is…” He pointed at it. A tentacle lifted the phone up to him and Aaron shuddered but took it, flipping through it. “See?” He held it out. The tentacle reached out and took the phone, bringing it to the pitch blackness at the door, and the monster studied it. 

“Carlos?” The creature murmured. “Hmm…” He - Aaron had determined the thing was male - repeated his name again, in a low purr. “Well. I will tell you what, Aaron. I will trade you, for him.” 

“WHAT?” Aaron demanded. 

“Bring him back to me, or I will hunt you down in the dead of night and make you wish you had never lived,” The monster crushed the phone with one of his long, dark tentacles. “Hm?”

“I- … ah- … there’s there’s no way I can convince him to-” Aaron trailed off. “... Well, you know what, I bet… Okay. Let me try.” 

The thing released him and he hit the ground hard. Aaron took off running towards his car, the black slime covering his labcoat. 

 

Carlos had just finished unpacking when there was a knock at his door. He walked over to it, pulling it open. “Yes?... Aaron, you look…” Carlos took a tentative step back. “Disgusting. What is that?” 

“C-carlos, the- the house that doesn’t exist! You have to come see it!”

“Hold on. I need to take a sample of this for analysis…”

“CARLOS. Come on! You can analyze the whole damn thing when we get there!” He grabbed him by the hand and drug him out to the car. 

They drove to the location and Aaron bullied him up to the door. Carlos started running tests. “... Absolutely nothing. It’s like it doesn’t even exist.” He murmured. Aaron knocked on the door and took off running. The door flew open and tentacles flew out, wrapping around Carlos, yanking him inside, the door slamming shut behind them. 

Carlos awoke, lying on the dark floor, covered in slime. He looked around, studying the room. It was pitch black, and he couldn’t see anything. There was a glowing pool of water next to him, the only visible thing in the room. Before he did anything rash, like using it to wash the slime off his body, Carlos did some samples on it. “... It’s no more radioactive than anything else in this town.” He slipped his labcoat off and washed his hands and face and neck, running his hands through his hair. He followed the wall around until he found a doorway, which he passed through. 

Luckily, he still had his equipment. _I’m pretty sure Aaron had something to do with this._ Carlos tested everything, before realizing he seemed to be in a round room. There was a whoosh and the room lit up. A candle hopped towards him, bowing and waving. “Hello,” she greeted. “Hello. I’m Intern Dana.”

“... But, you’re a candle?” Carlos hovered his scanner over her, testing her. 

“Yes!” She answered. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Carlos!” 

“How do you know my name?” Carlos raised a brow, checking the readings. 

“Our master told us you would be staying here!” she replied. 

A tennis racket came up, greeting Carlos the same. “Hello, Carlos! I’m Intern Chad.” 

Tons of small objects, candles, plates, forks, knives, a wide variety of things came out of the woodworks. “- Intern Vithya!” “Intern Leland!” “Intern Brad!” Carlos was becoming overwhelmed with the massive crowd of intern silverwear and living equipment, and he sunk down onto Intern Maureen, holding his head. 

“Is everything here alive?” Carlos asked, over the crowd of interns. “Is the BATH alive?” 

“Goodness no. We all left the bath to give you some privacy! Our master said to make you totally at home!” Intern Dana chirped. 

“Well, that’s good…” Carlos rubbed his forehead. “Where did you all come from?” 

“We came from the study,” Dana brightened. Carlos paused.

“There’s a study?” 

There was suddenly doors where there weren’t before. They led Carlos to the study, Intern Dana filling the space with light. There was row after row after row of books, and Carlos was in awe. “... All this?” 

“Our master has also built you a laboratory upon hearing that you are interested in the magic of science!” Dana added, happily. 

“... Who is your master? You keep saying that?” 

The interns all went silent, the whole crowd of them. “You’ll meet the Master soon enough,” Dana said, ominously. “He’s very eager to meet you… but he chose to let you adjust to living here before ever meeting you.”

“So I’m going to be living here? Forever? Can I never leave?” Carlos raised a brow. 

“Not until the master says so. He’s the only one who knows how to leave.” Dana paused. 

“Can I speak with him?” Carlos questioned. Dana shook her head. Carlos looked over the library. “Well, I’ll meet him whenever I meet him.”

A few days later, Carlos was carrying a stack of books to his lab from the library, when he glanced up and caught a full glimpse of a human-like figure. The figure wasn’t particularly tall or short, thin or fat, he had hair and eyes and hands… He was attractive, in an odd way, with some strange darkness at his back. Carlos immediately dropped his books, moving towards them. “Hey!” 

The figure startled and turned away, taking off into the dark. Carlos chased him, but lost him, running his hands along a solid wall. 

“Oh no…” Intern Dana murmured. “You scared our Master…” 

“HE was the Master?” Carlos’ eyes widened. 

“Master Cecil said he would come out to meet you today but I’m afraid you startled him.” Dana paused. “Well, I need to go speak with him…” she disappeared off somewhere Carlos couldn’t see, and he ran his hands along the wall, wondering how he had disappeared. Carlos caught on sharply to that uttered statement. _Master Cecil. Cecil, huh?_

 

Carlos lowered himself into the warm, glowing water, splashing it up his arms and tilting his head back. The bath felt nice after a long day. He’d been there for weeks, crossing between the library and the laboratory, and he would leave occasionally to eat and bathe. He talked a lot with Intern Dana, of everyone, she was his favorite person on the grounds.

Aside from that one glimmer of the mysterious master Cecil, he hadn’t seen anything else, but he constantly sensed something amiss. He felt something at the corner of the dark room and he opened his eyes. There was no one there, but it felt like there was. He looked over at it, wondering if there was something he could see. 

There wasn’t. Carlos thought to himself. _He likes to watch me in the bath, huh?_ He moved back, taking a seat on the back of the stone bath, leaning back, swallowing hard. “... You watching me?” The question fell flat on the air, and Carlos instantly doubted basically everything he’d ever done in his whole life until he sensed an increased presence there. He paused. “... So, you brought me here because you’re… attracted to me?” The silence hung on the air. “... I thought you were… I wasn’t expecting you to be so cute.”

The thing he sensed grew stronger and closer, like the presence of someone at his side, someone he couldn’t quite see. Carlos hesitated. The master of the house - Cecil - seemed so… kind and doting, so attentive. Carlos wanted to meet him personally. But for now… “I’d like to meet you, personally. Discuss this thing… Hm? Can you talk?”

The silence was deafening. Carlos spread his legs slightly, leaning against the wall. “... Well, maybe I’ll give you a show?” He slid his hand down his taut stomach, wrapping his fingers around his soft member, beginning to stroke his hardening length. There was something deeply arousing in this, touching himself and being watched by the master of the house, who clearly seemed to be attracted to him. “Maybe I’ll make you want to talk to me?... Cecil,” he said, in a breathy voice. The presence jumped and moved around nervously, deeply affected by his words. 

Carlos ran his thumb over the tip, the pleasure building hot and fast in the base of his dick, sliding his hand up and down it. “Mm… You know, I wouldn’t do this if you weren’t cute.” Carlos murmured.

The presence seemed to move closer, seemed to fill out. Carlos felt a human shape drape itself over his back, running its ghostly hands over his body. Carlos let out a slow breath, tilting his head back, the ghostly hands raking their way down his torso, indicating that Cecil was definitely interested in playing with him. “Why don’t you come in here and join me yourself?” Carlos quirked an eyebrow. 

The presence immediately disappeared and Carlos was left to sit confused. He leaned back more against the back of the tub, one hand wrapped around his throbbing member, and the other rubbed and stroked lazy circles around his balls, closing his eyes, his breathing growing a bit heavier. 

He startled when the door flew open, and darkness itself was there. It strolled across the room, wrapping itself around Carlos’ body in ways he’d never experienced before. Cool, dark, moist tentacles wrapped themselves desperately around his body, twining and rubbing against his skin, and it was hotter than Carlos had ever imagined tentacles could be. 

Sliding their rubbery slickness across his skin, tensing and rubbing and sliding across every inch of his body, Carlos let out a low grunt, long and heavy, his breathing hard, and head arching back. “I- I wasn’t expecting- these- they’re… nice.” He could see the flash of a face, the darkness receeded, and that strange, indescribable, handsome figure was in front of him, unclothed, the tentacles continuing to travel Carlos’ body, one tentacle wrapping around his erect member, the slickness of it providing a relief to his straining dick. 

“You like them?” 

The voice was more than Carlos could have ever expected, so rich and dulcet-y, almost enough to make him come at the sound of it. “Nnn- y- yes!” 

Cecil stepped into the tub, leaning against Carlos’ body, rubbing their bodies together, his hands threading in his hair. “Mm… Your hair is wonderful… your skin,” Cecil nipped his shoulder with almost too sharp teeth, “I knew the moment I saw that photo that I had to have you for myself.” Cecil got to his knees, removing his tentacle from Carlos’ leaking member, Cecil lapping the precum off the head. 

Carlos hissed air in through his teeth. “Ph-photo, huh? How did…?” 

“Your friend came and stole from me. He took things from the outside of my house. When I threatened to punish him, he said he was taking it to you. I saw a photo on his phone…” Cecil’s eyes flashed, as he took Carlos’ member in between his lips, sliding his tongue up and down it. “Come down into the water,” His tentacles pulled Carlos down, and he slid down, until he was sitting in the water, face to face with Cecil. 

Cecil yanked him close, those hands threading roughly in his hair again, kissing him hard, tongues dancing together, sharp teeth knicking the sensitive lips, passing the slight tang of blood into their mouths. Cecil pulled away, their lips swollen and bruised, before Cecil moved forward, reaching down to position Carlos, before sliding slowly down on him, moaning softly when Carlos was fully inside of him, his fingers digging at Carlos’ chest. Carlos knit his brows, his breathing ragged, as he adjusted to being inside that intense heat. He hadn’t expected this, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Ha…,” Cecil seemed dazed by the fullness, and Carlos took that moment to slip one of those jet-black tentacles into his mouth, sucking on it, and running his teeth across it, experimentally, curious as to what Cecil’s reaction would be. “Oooh,” Cecil’s nails dug into his chest again, seeming to shake from the pleasure. “Y-yes, that, the- that’s so good. Mmm.” He flung his arms around Carlos’ neck, lifting his hips and beginning to move up and down on his glorious length.

It was hot and carnal once Cecil found his bearings, bouncing hard on him, Carlos thrusting up to meet him, their chests sliding together, tentacles snaking between them, wrapping around Cecil’s very hard and leaking dick and around Carlos’ back and one still in Carlos’ mouth, licking and sucking at it. Cecil’s moans of pleasure got louder and finally his punctuated cries, in that voice that made Carlos want to fuck his mouth aggressively, all degraded into one long moan of some language Carlos wasn’t quite sure he knew. 

He shifted Cecil slightly and started thrusting hard into him, hitting the sweet spot inside the - Carlos wasn’t quite sure what he was, creature perhaps? - and Cecil came, crying out in that same foreign language, which rolled hot and heavy off that perfect tongue, and Carlos wasn’t but a few moments behind. 

Cecil clung to him a few moments. “Stay here,” he said, through a heavy, tired tongue. “Stay here with me, and the interns, I’ll take care of you and give you anything you want- just stay- You belong to me, you’re part of this house now, you’re mine,” Cecil rested his head, weakly against Carlos. Cecil wound the tentacles around them, pulling Carlos closer to him. “You belong to me.” 

Carlos threaded his hands through Cecil’s blonde hair, thinking. Cecil fixed him with those eyes, distant and inhuman. “I can’t say I mind too much...” He pressed a kiss to one of the tentacles, causing Cecil to shudder. “... you’re quite kind and attentive… building me a lab when you heard I’m a scientist, and you were quite the gentleman, staying away until I called you… The kidnapping was a bit unnecessary,” His voice was teasing. “I want to know more about you.” 

Cecil looked up at him, his eyes hungry. He rested his head against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around Carlos’ neck. “I will give you anything you ever wanted, do anything you need. Stay with me.” 

“I won’t leave yet. I’m far too curious about you, who you are, and about the interns,” Carlos said, playfully. “I’ll stay.” 

Cecil wrapped a tentacle around Carlos’ wrist, and Carlos winced at how tight it was before it was gone. A mark was present around his wrist, a broken solid circle, with a row of tiny suction cups all along the side. “This marks you as belonging to me,” Cecil gazed into his eyes. “I will remove it if you ever change your mind… It will protect you from Night Vale and all the things that live there.”

Carlos leaned forward, smiling a bit into Cecil’s neck. “We’ll just have to see what the future holds.” Cecil twined his fingers in Carlos’ hair, closing his eyes blissfully.


	2. The Boy Who Cried Werewolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fairy Tales with a Night Vale Twist! This chapter is based off of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. :)

The sun slanted down from overhead, beating down on shephard Carlos, hot and painful, sweat sliding down his face and running down his back in thin, uncomfortable streams. He reached up, wiping the sweat off his forehead, as he walked along the scrublands, his sheep ambling along with him.

Once they reached a good spot, Carlos sat down with the sheep, his head resting in his hand. The sheep romped and frolicked all around him, and Carlos sat, reading his book about science, occasionally glancing up to look at the sheep, keeping an eye on them. The sheep ate anything they could find, from rocks to pieces of cacti they passed, their glowing green eyes looking ominous. Carlos shrugged, continuing to read. They had been normal sheep once… Carlos wasn’t sure what had happened. 

He’d learned not to ask too many questions. Too many strange things tended to happen in this area for Carlos to pay attention to all of them. He did, however, keep his eye out for a certain wolf who liked to show up. The sun was beginning to set, which was fine, the sheep preferred to graze under the cover of darkness, but since the full moon was out, Carlos knew he would have to keep an eye out for the one particular wolf who liked to make his simple life particularly difficult.

Sure enough, the sun had just set, when he saw a flash out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up suspiciously to see the wolf just standing there. This wolf wasn’t like ordinary wolves. Carlos could deal with the other wolves, smirking, malicious, all too eager to fall on his sheep and eat or carry them off to far off places… but this one… this one, Carlos was sure, was after him.

He narrowed his eyes at them when he saw them. “Get out of here,” he said, in a harsh tone. 

“Oh, but, why would I do that?” it purred, short silver hair shining in the moonlight, black wolf ears fully at attention, leaning coyly against a tree. “I enjoy watching you so much.” 

“Leave my sheep alone.” 

“I don’t want the sheep, dear Carlos…” The wolf murmured, staring at him, his long silver tail, tipped with purple, flashing in and out of the shade of the tree. “I want _you_.” 

Carlos looked down the hill at the nearby town, thinking. It had been getting bolder and bolder as time went on, and it had went from just standing at the edge of his vision to talking with him, and gradually moving closer to him. He glanced back at the wolf, looking suspicious. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t trust a wolf.” 

“Oh, forgiveness granted…” it murmured, moving towards him. “But you’ll have to forgive me for not being able to stay away.” 

Carlos leapt to his feet, calling out, “WOLF! WOLF!” and the wolf was gone, taking off for parts unknown. Lights went on down at the city and a few villagers came up to see him.  
“Did they take any of the sheep?” One of the villagers questioned. 

“No, my yelling startled him.” Carlos shook his head. 

“Isn’t this like, the third month in a row you’ve seen a wolf?” One of the women questioned, frowning. 

“... yes…” Carlos paused. 

“And none of the sheep are ever taken?” She went on.

“... Yeah…” Carlos hesitated. 

“Hmm.” the woman frowned. The group of villagers was silent. They patted Carlos on the back for scaring the wolf off, and headed back down the hill. They had no more than left when he reappeared again, standing next to the tree, gazing longingly at Carlos. 

“I almost thought they didn’t believe you, sweet Carlos.” The wolf murmured. “How dare they doubt your perfect word…? I should go down there and… show them?”

“No, leave them alone,” A sigh came from Carlos. “Why are you doing this?” 

The wolf’s fingers picked lazily at the tree bark, glancing over at him, shyly. “I just want to be near YOU, my dear Carlos.” 

Carlos opened his mouth to say something but the wolf was creeping closer and so he yelled out again. The villagers returned again, just in time to see nothing. “Look here, you’re a big strong lad. I think you can handle the wolf yourself… Here.” One of the villagers pressed a sword and a dagger into Carlos’ hand. “Next time, just… take care of it yourself.” 

They left, muttering amongst themselves, exchanging glances. To Carlos’ surprise, his wolfish visitor didn’t return again that cycle. But the next month, sitting on that rock, with the sheep grazing around him, he spotted the wolf off in the distance. He was just staring at Carlos. Carlos groaned and buried his head in his hands. “... You make me feel like I am going crazy!” He yelled at him, watching the wolf lean against his favorite tree. “I’m literally the only one who can see you! I feel like I’m going crazy…” He groaned, silently staring downward. 

“... Maybe you are…” the wolf murmured. “Maybe we all are. But, isn’t crazy the best way to be?” He walked towards the edge of the clearing and Carlos reached for his sword at his belt. The wolf slowed to a creep, before dumping a bucket out. The sheep gathered around it, eating the food. 

“What are you doing?” Carlos asked, suspiciously. 

“Well… I plan on keeping YOU busy awhile,” the wolf looked at Carlos through his lashes, the light glinting off his hair and skin. “So, I would hate for you to lose your sheep, while we were… busy?” He set the bucket aside. 

“Are you serious?” Carlos asked, raising an eyebrow. “You really think that we’re going to…” Upon noticing the wolf creeping closer, Carlos put a hand on his blade. The wolf got down to his knees and rolled over onto his back. “... What are you doing?” 

He didn’t move, he just kept staring at Carlos. 

“I don’t even know your name! Just that you’re the wolf from HELL,” Carlos muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You want me to… to just…? And…” 

“Cecil,” the wolf said, breathlessly. Upon seeing Carlos relax, he rolled over, moving towards him again. “My name is Cecil.” Carlos leapt to his feet, looking towards the city. “They already said they won’t come,” Cecil stopped, looking up at him, silver tail swishing, before he rolled over again, rolling his head back, gazing up at Carlos. “Didn’t they, Carlos? Slay me if that’s what you will…” 

“I’m not gonna…!” Carlos buried his head in his hand, shaking his head. “This is literally the- You are making my life a nightmare!” He sunk back down onto his rock. “Are you even real?” 

“You can find out,” Cecil said, suggestively.

“If you’re an auditory and visual hallucination, there’s no way I could.” Carlos muttered. “You would look real, feel real-” 

“Taste real?” 

Carlos waved a hand at him, as if to silence him. Cecil got onto his hands and knees and moved closer. Carlos reached for his blade and Cecil rolled over onto his back a third time. “WHY do you keep doing that?” He scowled. “Do you WANT me to kill you?” 

“I want you to know… who the alpha male is,” Cecil said, gazing up at Carlos, through too long eyelashes. 

“Oh god,” Carlos muttered, dropping his head in his hands again, feeling the heat burn at his face, and his pants tightening. “Yeah. You’re definitely some… delusion I’m having. There’s no way you’re real.” 

Cecil, without Carlos noticing, had moved right up to him, placing a hand on Carlos’ inner thigh. “Is that so bad?”

Carlos visibly shuddered. _Well, I can feel THAT._ “...I don’t… I don’t think I should get involved with a hallucination…” Carlos murmured, his voice heavy. “If you could prove you were real…” 

“I wish I could,” Cecil nuzzled his inner thigh, eyes looking up at Carlos.

“Ha- me- me too.” Carlos stuttered, flushing crimson. “Uh, well, wh-what were you doing yesterday night?” 

“Hmm? Why?” 

“Well, If you’re made up, I- maybe-” 

“Mm…” Cecil thought to himself. “Sitting at home. Waiting for my cycle to begin again so that I could come see you,” His lips trailed up Carlos’ thigh. 

“Wh-wait, wait,” Carlos shuddered. The sensations Cecil was providing were delicious, and his mind was starting to get hazy. “Where’s home? Where’s your home?” 

Cecil wordlessly pointed at the town below, nipping him lightly through the fabric. Carlos gripped him by the shoulder, pushing him back. “Night Vale? You live in Night Vale?” 

“Uh-huh,” Cecil looked at him, surprised. “I’m not always a wolf, you know…”

“Who are you when you’re not this?” Carlos repeated. 

“I’m still Cecil but-” the blush was apparent on his face, even in the moonlight. “But I’m too shy to approach you…” he bit his lip. “In town.” 

“Are you serious.” Carlos stared at him. “Cecil, you could have approached me any time as a normal, open-minded human, and I probably would have been a lot more…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Urgh… That settles it. You’re definitely real.” When Cecil cocked his head, Carlos replied, “Because I would never imagine someone so frustrating.”

Cecil lay back, stretching out on the desert sand, his arms above his head, his body lean and sculpted and intensely arousing, even when at rest, looking like a vision Carlos never wanted to look away from. “That’s so mean,” Cecil murmured, looking at Carlos through heavy-lidded eyes. “... I just want what you want, Carlos, but so much more, even. I want you to want me, too. I want you to think about me all the time, like I think of you, see my face behind your eyelids and imagine me doing all the things to you that you’d ever want done…”

Carlos could feel the blood rushing through his body, his body more than on board with the sexy wolf’s suggestions. “I already see you everywhere, I couldn’t-” Carlos grew silent. His body was telling him to stop talking and to get on with something concrete. He slid off the rock, moving his body over Cecil’s, resting his elbows and knees in the dry sand, Cecil’s body pinned beneath, Carlos meeting the wolf’s eyes of adoration. “... Look, this is… you’ll probably change your mind as soon as - … I don’t think I’m really what you-” 

Cecil craned his head upward. “You are definitely what I want… Wolves mate for life,” he said, sweetly, running his tongue along the skin of Carlos’ neck, licking the dried sweat off, causing Carlos to stiffen. 

In every sense of the word. He lowered his head, kissing and nibbling lightly on Cecil’s neck, causing his breath to hitch, his back arching beautifully off the sand, Carlos immensely attracted to those curves… everything about him was almost more than Carlos could handle. 

“I want you to have all of me, to control me, to be my alpha…” Cecil said, breathlessly. “Bite me, bend me, break me, take me… anything you want, that’s what I want too.”

Carlos reached down, hesitating, before he began to rub Cecil through the fabric and Cecil’s head arched back, a breathy moan slipping from his lips. Carlos felt Cecil wrap his legs around his waist, and Carlos ground up into him, grinding their bodies together, surprising the wolf. He dug his fingers into Carlos’ shoulders, a low whine slipping from his lips. 

At that moment, a scream filled the air. “WOLF! WOLF! CARLOS, USE YOUR KNIFE!” She screamed. Momentarily stunned, Carlos took the full brunt from Cecil’s panicked kick to his chest, the wolf breaking away from Carlos and disappearing off into the desert. She ran over to him. “Oh! Carlos! Are you okay!?” She helped him up. “That wolf was a big one!” She said, stunned. “Wow! I came to bring you up dinner,” she held up a basket with food in it. “But maybe I should have brought a med kid!” 

“No, I’m fine,” Carlos grunted, taking a seat on the rock, doubling over to hide his awkward erection. _He really kicked me hard. Did he actually think I was going to hurt him?_

 

The next few days, Carlos imagined Cecil everywhere. He saw him in passersby on the street and reflected in windowpanes. He sat down in a cafe, his head in his hand, thinking to himself. A plate was set down on the table, and Carlos brightened when he heard a rich, but shy voice, say, “Here’s your food.” 

Carlos slowly looked up the figure, his eyes taking in every inch of the boy. His skin was more tan than it had appeared under the full moon, and his hair was a rich brown, falling over into his face. He was fidgeting with a towel, and he was still perfect. “... Cecil?”

Cecil’s eyes darted around the restaurant, before looking back at Carlos. He nodded, stiffly. “I’m… I’m really, so, so, so sorry about… everything…” He fidgeted with the towel. “I can’t…” He looked around. “I’m just so sorry. I don’t… I don’t think,” he whispered. “I just can’t… then.” He looked around again, his hands clenching and relaxing around the towel. “I made… an idiot… of myself…” 

Carlos looked around. The restaurant was empty except for him. “Would you like to sit down with me and talk?” 

Cecil’s eyes widened and he sunk into the chair. “Wh- but after…?”

“To be fair, I’m very interested in getting to know you. Not skipping straight to the end…” Carlos paused. “I mean, I’m intrigued by him… but you seem more my type, if I might…” he looked around. “If I might be so bold.” 

Cecil’s face heated up, and he hid his face in the towel, embarrassed. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe this is happening, I’ve liked you for so long-” 

“How long?” Carlos began to eat, watching Cecil. 

“Ah- six months-” Cecil managed. “You walk by here every day on your way to the library and I just-” He buried his face in the towel again. “Ah- I need to get back to work,” He leapt to his feet. 

Carlos grabbed his wrist. “Can I expect to see you again? … Maybe tonight in the sand wastes? Just talking, maybe a picnic basket?” He looked around, the place was still empty. 

“N-no! I couldn’t, I need to… care for my mother… Please, another time!” Cecil removed his hand, disappearing into the back, leaving Carlos to feel satisfied. He took another bite of his food, thinking to himself. If this was the every day Cecil, Carlos could say he would definitely enjoy the boy’s company. He definitely wanted to get to know him better, go slow, and get to know him. 

Yes, this would work out better for both of them… He heard someone yelling out in the street and he frowned. Cecil poked his head out from the back room as well. Carlos went out and the man was yelling. “Yesterday, a great wolf, a very large wolf, was spotted going after our sheep! Luckily, our shephard Carlos managed to fight him off! But the wolf escaped unwounded. We cannot allow this creature to continue terrorizing our sheep! Tonight, we will tend the sheep along with our shephard… and we will strike the wolf down when we see it.” 

The people cheered loudly, and Carlos tried to figure out what to do. He had a sick feeling in his gut, knowing they would hurt Cecil. 

That night, as the townspeople marched off into the sand wastes, Carlos at the lead of them, he spotted Cecil sitting in the middle of his usual area and the townspeople began to scream. Cecil leapt to his feet, running past them, avoiding the rocks and spears they threw, a rock slamming into his shoulder, leaving blood to stream down his arm and torso as he ran towards the city. 

“He flees toward the city!” The townspeople cried. Carlos slipped away, running after Cecil, unnoticed by the group. 

Carlos noticed where he was running and he took a shortcut there, grabbing him as he passed, yanking him inside the dark barn. Cecil struggled and fought for just a moment before pausing. “Carlos?” he whispered.

“Shh,” Carlos led him over to a small patch of light from a hole in the ceiling, and they sat down, next to each other. 

“Carlos, I’m scared,” Cecil whispered, wrapping his arms around Carlos’ waist. “They’ll kill me.” 

“Shh, Cecil,” Carlos murmured. “They’ll hear you.” 

“I can’t-” Cecil whispered. Carlos could feel his body, tense like a guitar string, one that threatened to snap at any moment. He was vibrating with fear and Carlos could feel it.

Carlos lowered his head, kissing him gently, knowing that this Cecil was very affectionate. Cecil sighed into the kiss, tipping his head back, beginning to relax. Carlos trailed kisses down Cecil’s throat, watching as the wolf lay back, inviting Carlos to do anything he wanted, wordlessly.

Carlos ran his hands under the fabric of Cecil’s tunic, his fingers marking paths of pleasure up Cecil’s skin, causing the wolf to shudder in pleasure. “Just relax,” he whispered to Cecil. He and Cecil quietly explored each other’s bodies, touching and tasting and exploring, until the two of them settled down into each others’ arms, neither of them really up for doing anything risky. 

They passed the night this way, the wolf intertwined in Carlos’ arms, and they both fell asleep after awhile. They awoke the next morning, and Cecil flushed bright red upon seeing Carlos, his hair sticking straight up, with bits of straw in it. “I… this is so embarrassing!” 

Carlos reached out and wound his arms around him. “It’s okay. Nothing happened. I’d rather spend some time getting to know you…” 

Cecil looked at him. “W-well, maybe we should get out of this dirty barn before someone finds us in here and thinks we did something.” 

“I wouldn’t mind if they did.” Carlos intertwined his hand with Cecil’s. “But I definitely want to get to know Cecil the human, if you’d let me.” 

Cecil blushed, looking away. “... I’d… like to get to know you, in person too…” 

The two of them left the barn, both of them thinking about how lucky they had suddenly become. And fortunately for the villagers, the wolf never bothered the sheep again, but did manage to steal a certain shephard’s innocence.


	3. Rapunzel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have no memories of the outside. I have nothing in the world before me but this microphone. I don't know if it is even working. But I will broadcast for as long as there is breath in my lungs, thoughts in my mind, and words on my lips. I will broadcast for myself... and for anyone listening."

Carlos sat in his newly unpacked office, reading through some reference materials his professor had left him. "It's your time to enter Night Vale," he'd said. "I hope you get as much enjoyment, frustration, and confused enlightenment out of the old bitch as I did." 

His professor often referred to the town by that crass, oddly affectionate, pet name. Carlos was rapidly understanding why. The town was an ancient, semi-hellish maze of confusion and impossibility, shifting and wavering, almost like an illusion, albeit a very, very scary and very, very real one. 

Carlos loved it. Even as dangerous as it was, he constantly found himself thrilled by some new thing or the other, or finding out something perfectly ordinary just didn't work in Night Vale. But today, he was taking the day off to relax. He found that if he didn’t take a few of those every month, his coworkers found him unbearable to work with, and so he was taking the day off. He couldn’t get his mind off work, so he reached next to him and he clicked on the little radio. There was a few local stations, but Carlos had yet to find one he was interested in. 

He turned the little dial on the ancient wooden radio, listening to the static. “AND IIII~” the radio blared, and he kept turning it. “-don’t remember anymore.” Carlos went to turn it but that voice locked him into place, and he couldn’t bring himself to turn it. That voice was smooth and lovely, washing over his ears, warm and gentle, like nothing Carlos had ever heard. He lowered his hand to listen. 

“There is a window in which I can look out, and see the outside world.” The voice went on. “But… there is very little which I can actually see. A sliver of sky, partially stars, mostly void… a white cloud. A beautiful rock formation that is pointy on top, and round underneath… I can see this, embedded within the sand. I have been here longer than I remember. This, trapped in this building, alone with nothing but this microphone… and the one who keeps me here.” he paused. “Cecil, you can’t get depressed,” he paused. “Someday soon, you’ll see that sky again, but with your whole range of vision. You’ll feel something alive under your fingertips, instead of this dead wood, and the cool burn of the metal of this microphone.” 

Carlos felt himself leaning towards the radio, transfixed. That voice felt like it was speaking straight to his soul.

“At some point, I started marking down the days. I have no idea about… well, anything, anymore.” There was a long, slow sigh that made Carlos scoot closer to the microphone. _Who is he? Is he really trapped? Is this one of those radio dramas?_ “... I can’t continue to stay up. I thought if I stayed awake for days, perhaps something would change… but I just feel more tired than usual. I still don’t know if this microphone works… If anyone’s listening. If anyone is listening, if anyone listens to my broadcast… good night. I hope you sleep well. Dream of wonderful things… Appreciate what you have. The feel of life under your hands… the scratchy coolness of a shady patch of grass. The smoothness of the leaf of a tree. The hot and trembling skin of a lover beneath your hands while your breaths mingle… the taste of a kiss with someone real and tangible. Appreciate these things. Because you never know.” 

Carlos shivered as the last, somber note hit his ears, and the voice left, leaving nothing but silence and the occasional tiny crackle of dead air. The voice left goosebumps all over his body. That voice had been just breathless and sensual enough to make Carlos uncomfortably aroused, and he was left wondering if that voice, distant and nearly tangible, was laid back touching themselves. He had certainly sounded aroused at the end, much like Carlos now was. He flushed. _Jesus, Carlos, how desperate are you?_ he got to his feet, trudging through the house. _Fantasizing about the radio host of some radio drama…_

The next day, Carlos asked his team about the voice. One of the women, a brunette with a tight bun, glanced up at him. “Oh, that loony Cecil guy? Yeah, he’s on ALL the time. He’s literally on that station 24/7. He only leaves long enough to sleep, use the bathroom, or masturbate. And I’m not even sure he leaves to do that last thing all the time.” 

“Hey, be nice,” one of the other scientists chastized her. “I’ve never heard Cecil masturbate on the air. I used to think it was all fake, you know? But no. Turns out, no one knows what station he broadcasts from, just that he’s always on the air. Always. He’s been on the air like that for years. Everyone in town knows about it, and most of them listen to his broadcasts. They’re very… deep. Sometimes you feel like… like maybe, the weight of his words come down on me like… water. Over my head, drowning me, and I can’t… I don’t know.” the blonde scientist muttered, scratching his head. “Sometimes when I listen to him, his depression is so… painful. It makes me feel like he does.” 

“Has anyone tried tracing the sound?” Carlos questioned. 

“Eh… no, you know…” The blonde muttered. “It just… feels… wrong. Like… Cecil’s been there for so long… I know I listen to him every evening… I just… I don’t know what it would be like if I didn’t… If he didn’t talk me to sleep. You know?” 

“No, I don’t.” Carlos left the room. He went home, and gathered up all the materials he needed. He left and went to radioshack, gathering the last few pieces. He lay everything out on the table, sitting down. He reached out and turned on the radio while he worked on the machine. 

Dead air filled the room and Carlos was left wondering if Cecil was alright while he worked. After a long silence, he heard a tiny sound, and Carlos realized Cecil was crying. The sound of it overwhelmed him, and he was left staring stupidly at the radio. 

“... It doesn’t matter,” Cecil whispered. “No one can hear this anyway. You’ve just kept talking for years, thinking that someone is listening. That someone cares. You’re wrong.” he paused. “This microphone, I’m sure it doesn’t even work. It is lonely here. So lonely, the very air I breathe causes me pain, and the sight of the world outside… it’s unbearable, like a cruel joke that just never ends, an eternal taunt…” the soft cry ripped Carlos apart, leaving him to stare at the radio.

After a moment, Carlos turned back to the radio, working with a fervor, determined to get in, determined to save Cecil. He worked for days, his team coming by to check on him often. When his project all came together, Carlos let out a cry of excitement, holding it up in the air. “This is PERFECT. With this, I can trace the signal back to its source.” He strapped it to his back, and left his house. 

He climbed into his car and used it to search. He drove for a long time, and finally he found himself out in the desert, with the city at his back. His machine continued beeping, so Carlos knew he was on the right track. He followed the beeps until he arrived at a gigantic tower, one that stretched so high, it was difficult for Carlos to even look up at it. He moved around it, knocking and pounding at the stone. 

After a while, he heard a tentative knock back. Carlos knocked in reply and he heard a voice yell, “IS SOMEONE OUT THERE? PLEASE, PLEASE BE REAL,” 

“I AM REAL,” Carlos yelled back, walking around the walls. He spotted a thin crack in the wall and he yelled through it. “I’m real!...” 

A moment later, he could just narrowly see a face through the crack, staring at him. “I- I can’t believe it!” Cecil was in absolute awe. “It’s real. A real, live, talking, human being. You are human, right? Are you?” 

“I am, I’m human.” Carlos assured. “I’ve heard your radio show.” 

“Thank god, I’ve been here for months and I- I feel like I’m losing my mind,” Cecil laughed, but it was uncomfortable. “... You… you’re so… handsome. Like a desert mirage.” 

Carlos looked up. “There’s a window but it’s all the way up there…” 

Cecil looked up. “Oh! Oh I can… I think I can… I don’t have anything long enough. I just… I wish- I wish you could come in here.” He pressed himself against the crack. “There’s a thousand things I want to say to you and I want to touch you and…” 

“I’ll be right back,” 

“NO,” Cecil yelled. “Don’t go-” he yelled, but Carlos was heading towards his car. He came back a moment later with a thin rope. He threaded it through the crack and Cecil grabbed onto it.

“Pull it all the way through and make knots every so often.” Carlos instructed. “Then attach it to something, drape it out the window and I’ll climb up.” 

Cecil nodded, running upstairs, the rope following behind him. Carlos watched as knotted rope began being lowered from the window. It was slow and steady but eventually it was just low enough for him to reach. He scaled up the tower, hopping inside. He staggered back as Cecil ran at him, throwing himself at him, nearly sending them tumbling from the open window. “Ah!-” he stiffened, awkwardly. “I- um…” 

Cecil ran his hands down Carlos’ shoulders and down his arms and chest. “You are real. You feel real.” Cecil gripped his bare arm, running his thumb along it. “Your skin is smooth and warm,” he looked up at him. “Your eyes are amazing… your teeth are perfect… your hair is lovely…” Cecil moved against him, pressing him against the wall near the window, running his hands over his skin. Cecil leaned forward, kissing and nipping playfully at Carlos’ neck. “You’re the first one who’s come here to see me… the first warm, living body I’ve seen in months…” Cecil threaded his hands in that perfect hair, rocking his hips against Carlos’.

Carlos’ mind was a fuzzy haze of pleasure and he found himself sliding down the wall, coming to a seat. Cecil moved down with him. “I- don’t… understand?” 

“You came to save me,” Cecil smirked, pulling Carlos towards him, trailing kisses down his neck, and opening his lab coat, sliding it down his shoulders. “And now I’m going to pay you back.” Carlos shuddered in pleasure, but he found that he couldn’t form thoughts, so he let that go. “You are so perfect.” 

There was a weird static noise and Cecil abandoned Carlos, running over to the microphone. “Hello and good day, listeners. And I know there’s listeners now! Hello, all of you.” 

Carlos was deeply confused from where he lay, but he got to his feet after a moment, studying Cecil. “... Are you being controlled by that microphone?” He walked over to it. 

“Listeners, I have a guest today. My first ever guest.” Cecil seemed antsy. “I would like to get to know him better but unfortunately, the microphone demands I keep talking into it… so… um…” Carlos went over and took a seat on the desk. Cecil stared at him, looking a bit hungry. “This is a very difficult predicament.”

“Hmm…” Carlos picked up the microphone and looked it over. “So this thing controls you, huh?” 

“H-hey, be careful not to break that,” Cecil managed. 

“It’s not attached to anything. Why not take it with you?” Carlos ventured. 

Cecil looked confused. “Outside?” 

“Yes, to Night Vale.” 

Cecil fidgeted. “I can’t.” 

“Can’t? Why not?” 

“I can’t ever leave here.” He bit his lip. “My, uh, my twin won’t let me.”

“You have a twin?” Carlos frowned. 

“Or… a double. I don’t know. Maybe I’m the double…” He pinched his eyebrow. “Look, if you’re not going to… you should just go.” 

Carlos sat down next to the table. “I didn’t come here for sex.” 

Cecil glanced at him, before looking at the microphone. “Sorry, listeners… I’m a bit distracted by my perfect guest. Of course, I do have a little while before my twin returns home… So he has at least another hour to spend with me…” He carried his microphone over, sitting next to Carlos. “I’d like to use that time to get to know him. Please, tell me about yourself.” 

“Well, um, my name is Carlos,” Carlos started. He talked for awhile, and Cecil listened and interjected and asked questions, and finally he leapt to his feet. “You need to hurry and go before he finds out that you’re here. Please, come back. He’s always gone during the day but he’s here at night.”

Carlos slipped down the ladder and Cecil took the rope and disappeared. Carlos drove for Night Vale, wondering about the mysterious tower and the mysterious twin and the broadcast and Cecil. 

Carlos went back to visit Cecil a lot. Sometimes he was on the air, sometimes he wasn’t. They got to know each other slowly and shyly, and it wasn’t long until Cecil spent most of that time in Carlos’ arms, snuggling with him, talking leisurely into the microphone. 

“And that’s the end of my broadcast for a while, Night Vale,” Cecil smiled. “Good afternoon, Night Vale… I will be busy… experiencing the touch of a lover, the warmth of their skin, and maybe, the warmth of their soul.” Cecil switched his microphone off, moving towards Carlos, winding his hands around Carlos’ neck. “I can’t imagine why you keep wanting to come back here…” he paused. “If you live out in the world, why would you want to come here? I’ll never get it.” He smiled a bit teasingly. 

“Obviously I want to see you,” Carlos responded. 

“Oh…” Cecil leaned closer, pressing their lips together, kissing Carlos deeply and passionately. He pushed him over until Carlos was on his back and Cecil was over top of him. “I tried to resist my urges because you’re so perfect but I-” He kissed him again, and Carlos ran his hands down Cecil’s chest, wrapping an arm around his hips. Cecil gasped when Carlos slipped his hand under Cecil’s shirt, running slow tantalizing circles with his fingertips, sliding up Cecil’s chest. 

The two of them took their time playing and exploring, and they lost track of time. Cecil was just getting ready to unbutton Carlos’ pants when he heard a door. “Cecil. I’m home.” Cecil leapt to his feet, yanking Carlos up, nearly pushing him out the window. “... I’m sorry, what’s going on here?” 

Carlos half turned to see a figure standing there, looking much like Cecil. He had soulless black eyes and yellow clothes, and his smile made Carlos genuinely unsettled. “Cecil, do you have a guest?” He strolled towards them and Cecil took a step back against the wall.

“I’m sorry… you’re not allowed to be here.” With a creepy smile, he pushed him out the window. Cecil screamed and lunged for the window. Carlos had latched onto the rope and he was using it to climb down rapidly.

Kevin removed a knife from his pocket and cut the rope, leaving Carlos to plunge down to the ground. Carlos struck the ground, lying limply, blood beginning to seep through his shirt and ran off for his car, not sure what to do. He drove for home, and switched the radio on. He could hear Cecil. “And my… my brother says that I can’t ever see him anymore…” Cecil’s teary voice came through. “I should have jumped out the window with him…” There was a long sigh. 

The bleeding got heavier and Carlos sped back towards the city, starting to feel dizzy from the heat and bloodloss. The car swerved and came to a screeching stop in the middle of the road as he finally lost consciousness. 

When he woke up, he was surrounded by his team. “Carlos! You’re awake!” they seemed relieved. 

“I gotta get going. I need to- … how long?” Carlos asked, groggily. 

“A few days,” One of the blonde women paused. “Cecil sounds like a real wreck on the radio there, tiger. Did you love him and leave him or what?” 

“Did I what?” Carlos asked, confused. 

“You know, fuck and flee?” One of the other men asked, smirking to himself. 

“... You guys are disgusting,” Carlos muttered, rubbing his hair. “No… I need to get back to him though… How bad is he?” 

“He’s a wreck. Hasn’t really said much on the radio since you left.” 

Carlos sat up, worried. “I need to get out of here.” It took him two hours to get out of the hospital and he drove to the store, before heading straight for Cecil’s again. The window was boarded up and Carlos didn’t know how to get to him. He started throwing rocks at the window, and after a few moments, Cecil answered. “Cecil! I… I brought rope. I need… come with me.” 

Cecil’s hands clinched the window frame. “But Carlos, I’m scared.” 

“Come back to Night Vale with me!” Carlos cried. 

Cecil looked over his shoulder. He looked back down at Carlos, before nodding. He met Carlos downstairs and they passed the rope through and they did the same as before. Cecil took a deep breath and climbed down, running to Carlos. “Hurry, Carlos! Hurry!” 

They climbed into Carlos’ car and drove back to Night Vale. Cecil was shaking with excitement. “If he catches us, Carlos, we’re in so much trouble,” he gripped Carlos’ arm. They made it back to Night Vale and into Carlos’ home. He shut and locked the door and Cecil collapsed onto the floor. “I can’t believe it. I’m in a house. Hardwood floors and TVs and couches…” he ran his fingers over the floor. 

Carlos knelt down by him and Cecil pulled him against him, kissing him. “You saved me…” he murmured. 

Carlos looked down at him. “I just… couldn’t leave you alone.” 

“Come here.” He drew him into another kiss, and Carlos stared down at him breathlessly. “You’re my hero, Carlos. Let me do something for you now.” Cecil murmured.

“Mmm… Really? Because I thought we could go out to eat. Maybe get some ice cream?” Carlos questioned, through a half-crooked smile. “Right after I take my pain meds because my ribs are killing me… I don’t think I’m up to… that.” 

Cecil sighed, but smiled, the mood effectively ruined. “Well… okay. That sounds neat. I haven’t been out with people in a long time… and I can wait as long as you need...”

Carlos got to his feet, and went off toward the kitchen, Cecil lying back on the floor. He closed his eyes. Carlos stood in the kitchen, flushed. He’d certainly found himself in a difficult situation now. … But, he couldn’t say he wasn’t fascinated by Cecil, and wanted to know him better.


	4. Carlos in Wonder Vale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos goes to Wonderland

“These trees are giving off seriously weird readings,” Carlos muttered to himself, running the scanner across the surface of the tree. He smacked the box with the palm of his hand a few times, frustrated. A spark flew off the box and it exploded in his hand. Frustrated, he flung it down. He turned around, sliding down the tree, his knees tucked against his chest as he stared at the box, thinking to himself.

He toyed with the idea of going back to the car and getting his other piece of equipment a few moments before he heard someone talking. He frowned as he saw a woman in a rabbit costume run past him, babbling something about being late and how she would lose her internship at the station and oh, please let it not have started yet. Carlos frowned, wondering where she was running off to. His eyes widened and he stared, startled as she suddenly dived down into a hole in the base of the tree.

Carlos ran after her, getting down on his hands and knees to look into the hole. “Leaping leptons! What-” His hands slipped on the loose dirt and he fell into the hole, face first. It took him a few minutes to adjust to the sensation of falling, but once he did, he took a look around. Despite the absence of light in the hole, he could still see all manners of horrors as he tumbled down. Fortunately, the bottom was soft and padded, and he got to his feet. 

“I wonder where I am,” Carlos mused. “The length of that fall must have been twenty minutes at least. If I was falling for twenty minutes, then I have to be... Almost five thousand miles down, that's not even possible! Where the heck am I?” He looked around. “I wonder if maybe I just fell really slowly?... No, that's not possible with the laws of physics... Either way, I must be very far down, where ever I am. There’s no climbing up from that depth. I’ll have to find another way out.” He walked towards the walls, beginning to walk. He found a small opening and he sighed, getting on his hands and knees and crawling through it. It led him to a very large room, with a small table in the center, and the floor a thick cushion of leaves. 

He saw a small door and he puzzled at it. He got down on one knee and opened it, and he could just see out into a courtyard, green and lovely, with a lot of unusual-looking plant life. He shut the door and sat up. He startled to hear a lot of noise behind him and he turned, getting to his feet. There was a large crowd of people in the room now, holding plates and cups and various other things. “Yes, yes, everyone gather round, yes, thank you. Everyone WELCOME to our monthly PTA meeting,” the lead woman said, warmly. 

“PTA meeting? In a hole miles underground?” Carlos questioned himself. 

“Oh man, it’s still better than the last place she held it…” One of the members said, ominously. “My feet still bleed sometimes…”

“Everyone, let’s all relax and have a good time! Then we’ll get down to business.” The lead woman went on.

Carlos opened his mouth to say something, but a tall, scruffy looking gentleman with an overgrown beard and a bored expression shoved something in his mouth. “Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport! I think they did a fine job choosing the location of the PTA meeting this month. Enjoy the scone!” he smiled at Carlos.

Carlos choked on it, thinking to himself that it was a little dry. “Th-thank you…” He chewed it up, swallowing it down. “So, uh, where… where else have you had these PTA meetings?” he managed. 

“Well, last time we had it in-” 

“RED LIGHT!” The woman in charge screamed and everyone grabbed a container and rushed towards a large door Carlos hadn’t noticed before. He got swept along in the crowd and they forced him through the door and into a strange forest which sent unnerving chills up his spine. He turned to look back but the door was gone and nothing but empty forest stretched out in front of him. 

“Hey wait!” Carlos yelled after them, but they were gone. “Holy hadrons, this place gives me a headache,” he complained, straightening up. He looked around. “Kind of nice out here. Peaceful. I like it more out here than I did in there.” He looked around. “Well, I guess I should get moving. If I’m trapped in a forest, I might as well walk through it.” He started walking. He walked until he hit a fork in the road and he paused to wonder where to go. To his surprise he heard someone whispering. 

He looked at the trees and they seemed to be the ones whispering. He moved closer to them, and they were whispering compliments. “I like your jacket. You have lovely hair. Lovelier eyes,” the trees whispered. “So lovely. Lovely… lovely, eyes.”

Carlos thought a moment. “That seems a bit creepy, but...” He pulled out some of his equipment from his pocket. “I’ll have to do some tests to make sure.” He felt something wrap around his waist, pulling him away from the trees. 

“Ah-ah, that’s a bad idea,” He heard someone purr in his ear. He turned to face them, and a painfully attractive-looking man was standing behind him, an amused smirk on his face, his hands on his hips. Carlos startled. Upon further study, it was a long tail, striped dark and lighter purple, leading all the way up to a lovely waist and that attractive man who seemed amused by Carlos’ confusion. “You’d better not. They’ll take you in and make you part of them…” His tail pulled Carlos closer. “If it’s compliments you want, I can certainly give them to you,” he fluttered his lashes at Carlos. 

“They’ll take me in and make me part of them?” Carlos questioned.

“Mm-hmm, I’ve lost a few interns that way…” The cat glanced at the trees and back at Carlos. “They’re certainly right though, aren’t they? You have wonderful hair, and eyes, definitely,” Cecil purred. “You’re perfect… Where are you going?” 

“I don’t have any idea. I don’t even know where I am,” Carlos admitted. 

“Hmmmm… the left path takes you to the most horrid person alive… and the right path takes you to the worst nightmare you can imagine…” Cecil leaned towards him, playfully. “But none of this is really real, so-”

Carlos turned his equipment on Cecil, scanning him. Cecil looked down at the box, frowning. “What is that?” 

“I’m checking you with my danger meter, I need to know if you’re dangerous. Hmmm… 2.1 fatality units, surprisingly low!” Carlos said, appreciatively. “You’re more than safe. You’re the safest thing I’ve ever scanned.” 

Cecil tilted his head, curiously. “Danger meter… hmmm…” he released his tail from Carlos, taking the danger meter from him, and leaping back, disappearing around a shadow. 

“Hey!” Carlos demanded. 

Cecil reappeared in the tree, holding the meter. “I’ll keep this, lovely Carlos,” Cecil purred. “If you’d like it back, find me again in the courtyard…” He winked, and disappeared, the last thing left glowing in the air was his third eye, for a moment or two after the rest of him had vanished. 

Carlos frowned. “Well, now how do I know if things are dangerous?” He looked at the path. “What does he mean it’s not real? Okay, focus. Left path, is the most horrid man alive, right is the worst nightmare. I think I’d rather meet the worst man alive.” He set off down the left path, his arms swinging at his sides. 

He walked for a while and he finally arrived at an encampment with a very small, neatly made table, with only two chairs at it. A man was sitting at one, with his back to Carlos, so he couldn’t see him. Carlos mustered his will and walked up to the man. “Excuse me, I’m kind of lost…” 

The man wasn’t listening, but Carlos did spot a little girl with a sash over her shoulder, covered in patches. She was holding a teapot and pouring a cup of tea. She glanced up to look at Carlos and she turned her body towards him. “Oh! Hello!”

“Ahhh! Janice! Stop pouring!” The man tipped the pot upwards. “Agh! Janice, you’ll never get your tea ceremony badge this way.”

“Sorry, Steve Carlsburg,” she said, in a quiet tone, pushing her glasses up her nose. 

“You’ve been talking to Cecil again, haven’t you?” he sighed. “Janice, I am your stepfather, you can just call me Steve, you don’t have to…” 

Carlos cleared his throat. Steve turned to look. “HEYYYY! It’s the guy from the PTA meeting!” He grinned. “Would you like to have a seat? Janice here can pour you a cup of tea.” 

Carlos thought a moment. “Uh no, that’s fine. I’m lost though. I’m looking for the courtyard?” 

“Oh, that’s easy. You turn left here, and keep going until you arrive at Dana’s house. It doesn’t actually exist, but it seems like it would, because it’s between two other identical houses, so it makes more sense for it to be there than not!” Janice set her teapot down. “Would you like me to draw you a map? I did get my badge in topography and cartography?”

“Uh, no, if it’s just turn left and go straight, I think I can handle that.” Carlos nodded. “Thank you.” 

He turned and started heading off. “Okay, Janice, try again… this time try not to pour it all over me, okay, sweetie?” 

“Okay… Dad.”

They faded off into the distance and Carlos continued walking, keeping an eye out for something other than the forest. He arrived at a house and got there just in time to see the same woman from earlier running away from the house that didn’t exist, which was between two other identical houses, so it made more sense for it to be there than not… but without questioning things (like how the house could not be real but looked real), he chased after Dana. He found himself lost in the forest again until he came to another house. He decided to ask them for help and went up the steps, knocking on the door. It swung open, and there was a little old asian woman sitting in a rocking chair, knitting. 

She coughed to herself. “Erika, dear, could you be a sweetie and open a window? Erika got a little carried away with the onions…” 

Something moved past Carlos, startling him. The figure was at least seven foot tall with multiple faces and dark skin, and at least six hands. It opened the window with ease. 

“Erika, the cat won’t stop crying, would you be a dear and do something about it?” 

A third creature moved to the corner of the room where something was loudly screaming. “It’s not doing very well, Josie,” Erika frowned. 

“Uh… excuse me…” 

“You there, tend to my cat.” 

“Oh but I can’t, I’m terribly allerrr- oh- okay-” Carlos managed as Erika dragged him over to the corner where the cat was. It was almost four feet tall with sharp spikes all over its body and bloated sacs under its chin. It looked up at him with four glossy yellow cat eyes and Carlos wilted. “I don’t... is this even a-” 

“Erika, turn the stove off, we need to get moving! If we don’t hurry terribly soon, we will miss Cecil’s debate.” Josie looked over at the one cooking the food. “Come come, let’s hurry.” She got to her feet. “My precious baby boy’s under YOUR care now! Take good care of my Khoshehk!” She smiled at Carlos and the four of them headed out, leaving Carlos alone with the cat. 

The cat immediately grew quiet when they left, looking at Carlos with its four large yellow eyes. Carlos started backing away, but promptly sneezed. “Ugh, yeah, a cat,” he muttered. “Definitely a cat.” He continued backing away until he was at the door. “I’m just gonna…” it was just hovering in the corner, staring at him. “You look fine. Bye,” Carlos hightailed it out of there, heading out to the road. He spotted Josie and her angels heading off and he took off after them, determined to find Cecil. He arrived at a large courtyard, but, instead of being lush and green, the trees and plants were all dead, the sand arranged in various patterns and shaped into walls. Carlos had an ominous feeling but he entered anyway. 

“You finally made it~!” Carlos turned around to see Cecil hanging upside down from one of the sand walls, his eyes fixed on Carlos. “The perfect, beautiful stranger… Welcome to the courtyard~” 

“Ah, thank you…” Carlos stared at him, absorbing his features, that smooth, bare patch of skin on his stomach from where his shirt slide up, his rich tan skin… 

Cecil flipped off the wall, getting to his feet. “A promise is a promise,” Cecil moved toward him, pressing himself against him, before pressing a danger meter in his hand. “But if you want to advance further, you’ll have to play a little game with me… does that sound fun?” 

“Play a… game?” 

“Mm-hmm. You cannot advance until you win, so you might as well play.” Cecil’s eyes sparkled. 

“Advance?” Carlos asked, dumbfounded. 

“If you try to move into the courtyard further, you will just loop around here until you play. If you try to leave, you will loop around here until you play. So you may as well agree, hm?” Cecil asked, teasingly. “I won’t make it too difficult…” 

“... What is it?” Carlos questioned, hesitantly. 

“Oh, nothing too hard.” Cecil leaned against one of the sand walls. “Just a bit of fun. If you want to win, you have to make me stammer or lose my words… just once, and you’ll win. Sound easy enough?” 

Carlos knit his brows. “Well, how do I do that?” 

“I don’t know, however you want… I’ll be sitting in the shade,” Cecil winked at him. “Whenever you want to come play.” 

“I- uh, … o-okay,” Carlos muttered, looking away. He waited a few moments, unsure before trying to go ahead and avoid Cecil. But just as the mischievous cat had stated, Carlos just circled back around again, and found himself looking over at Cecil, sitting in the sand gazebo, staring wistfully at him. Carlos hesitated and walked over to the structure, taking a seat. “Okay, so… uh…” Carlos knit his eyebrows. “Well, what’s your name?” 

“Cecil Palmer…” He fluttered his lashes at him. 

“Cecil, huh. You must be the one that Steve guy mentioned.” 

Cecil’s eyes darkened. “STEVE CARLSBURG. What a JERK.” 

“Uh-” Carlos stopped. “Don’t like him, huh?” 

Cecil snorted, annoyed, but didn’t respond. 

“Uh, the cute little girl, though, she seemed nice.” 

Cecil smiled. “Yes, Janice, my little niece. She’s already gotten three quarters of all the merit badges there are… Although her personal favorites are camping, fire starting, and bathing in the blood of her enemies.” 

“... uh, what?” Carlos frowned. 

“Oh wait, no, camping, fire starting, and firearms, that’s it. I always mix up the firearms proficiency badge and bathing in the blood of your enemies badge,” Cecil sighed. 

Carlos reflected on this for a moment. 

“Although she has that one as well.” 

“Oh that’s really… impressive…” Carlos managed. 

“You’ll never get me to stutter at this rate,” Cecil teased, his ears flicking back. 

Carlos looked at them. “... Are your ears sensitive?” 

Cecil’s eyes widened but only for a moment. “I can hear quite well with them, yes… if that’s what you mean.” 

Carlos reached across the table, scratching the back of the large cat ear experimentally. Cecil’s eyes widened but he was silent, color spreading across his cheeks. “No, that’s not what I meant.” Cecil was silent a moment, and Carlos sneezed.

“You lost your words. I win.” Carlos smiled.

Cecil nuzzled his hand, putting his hand over Carlos’. “W-well, I won too… but differently,” Cecil looked away. “You can advance.”

Carlos nodded, glancing at the exit. “I’ll be seeing you-” He turned back but Cecil was gone, leaving only a faint glowing impression of an eye in the air before that disappeared as well. He glanced down at his danger meter, tossing it in the air a few times. “This place is weird.” 

He pocketed it and headed on ahead to the main courtyard, continually seeing more and more erratic piles of sand, arranged in unusual patterns and sculpted into unusual shapes. In the center of the sand maze, there was a young man, covered head to toe in some red liquid sitting on a throne of sand, looking straight ahead, stoically. 

When Carlos approached him, the young man turned to face him, and Carlos startled to realize he had no eyes. “I- is that… blood?” 

“I am the Queen of Blood,” Kevin smiled ear to ear, his teeth dingy and jagged, that smile far too wide for Carlos to feel comfortable about it. “All that is around me… belongs to Strexcorp. And who are you? I’ve never seen YOU before… not around here, anyway,” 

Carlos looked around. “I’m Carlos. The scientist. I’m… not from here, which would explain why you’ve never seen-” He trailed off, hearing the Queen’s soft laugh. 

“Ohhhhhhhh, I seeeee,” Kevin said, amused. “So you’re new, then…” He turned toward Carlos’ face. “My goodness, you are the most HANDSOME man I’ve ever seen~” 

Carlos took a step back. “O-oh? Uh, thanks, but I’m nothing that... Do you know how to… I’d like to go home.” he pointed up. “Do you know how I could… do that?” 

“Well… no idea… particularly…” Kevin hummed. “But…” 

Carlos stumbled as someone grabbed the back of his shirt, yanking him back. 

“NO! NO, YOU DON’T,” Cecil hissed, in Kevin’s direction, the hair on his tail standing straight up. 

“Oh! Cecil! Hello, Cecil,” Kevin smiled. “You look well today…”

“He doesn’t BELONG to you,” Cecil snarled. “Leave him alone…” 

“Hmmm…” Kevin snapped his fingers. Guards in yellow suits marched toward them, and Cecil looked around, confused. Kevin gestured with a finger at Cecil and the guards lunged at him, grabbing him and holding him down. 

“Hey! What are you doing, let me go!” Cecil demanded. 

“Take him to jail, we’ll have him killed.” Kevin said, happily. “He seems veeeeeery angry,” he covered his mouth with his hand. “And I think that will make him feel much better.” 

“W-WAIT!” Carlos blurted, as Cecil was getting carried off. “Kill him? Just like that?? D-don’t you think… can’t you find another way to do this?”

“Hmmmm… You don’t think he’s guilty?”

“Guilty of what?” Carlos asked, puzzled. 

“Very well. We’ll have a trial.” Kevin paused. “If you can prove that Cecil’s a big old softie cat who never did anything… then I’ll let him free.”

“... I… uh, okay…” Carlos hesitated. 

“But if you can’t, I’ll have him eviscerated.” Kevin grinned from ear to ear. “I think his organs will make a lovely scarf.” 

Chills spread up Carlos’ arms at those words. “Uh… I…” 

Kevin snapped his fingers and darkness invaded the scene. It was so pitch black that Carlos could see nothing. When Kevin snapped again, Carlos could see that the courtyard was set. There were sand bleachers all around, stacked high, and people were filling almost every inch of the stands. Cecil sat in a sand cage next to the stage that Kevin sat on, in his sand throne, blood soaking into the sand. 

“Let the trial begin!” He called, happily, bringing his fist down, crumbling the arm of his sand chair. The audience cheered and hollered. Cecil was pacing back and forth, pausing only to stare meaningfully at Carlos every so often. “The jury will be the collection of hooded figures to my right. They all have buttons in front of them. If they push the button, it means they believe he is innocent. If they do not, he is guilty.” 

Carlos turned to look at the hooded figures who were standing motionless in a cluster, and Carlos had a bad feeling about the whole ordeal. 

“Cecil has been a menace to our natural world order for some time now,” Kevin went on. “It was his fault what happened to young Khoshehk, after all…” 

“NO! It wasn’t! I DIDN’T KNOW THE STREXPET WAS THERE,” Cecil yelled.

“At least he will survive… but Cecil should have kept a closer eye on him… The poor creature was all in pieces just a day ago...” 

“OBJECTION!” Carlos yelled and then grinned because that was particularly fun to say. “If you mean the cat at the house with the angels…” 

“ANGELS DON’T EXIST,” The crowd screamed. 

“I, uh…” Carlos frowned. “Uh, the cat at the house with the old woman? He was fine not even an hour ago! In one piece! I saw him myself!”

“Mmm… but can you be sure it wasn’t just an illusion?” Kevin murmured. “I’m quite sure the poor cat was in pieces…” When Carlos opened his mouth to object, Kevin went on. “No, forget it. Next point. Cecil, through his intense and uncalled for hatred of the upstanding Steve Carlsburg, young lady Janice did not manage to obtain her Tea badge. It’s not just this but many other things that indicate that Cecil needs to be stopped!” Kevin shook his head. “and worse of all, Cecil opposes STREXCORP.” 

The crowd gasped. 

“There is nothing to be done for the poor kitty. Let’s just disembowel him and all go back to our happy lives…” Kevin smiled. 

“No!” Carlos shook his head. “You’re wrong! You’re all wrong! Cecil wasn’t-”

“Enough! Let’s get to the voting…” Kevin called. “Those who find him innocent, push away~” 

Not a single one of the hooded figures budged an inch. Carlos ran towards Cecil as fast as he could. He knocked the bars down and grabbed Cecil’s hand, taking off running with him. “After them! After them!” Kevin called back.

Carlos ran as far away as he could and yanked Cecil off the path, holding the cat in his arms, hiding behind the tree. After a moment, he looked at Cecil, who looked back at him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them…” 

Cecil threaded his fingers in Carlos’ hair. “You did your best,” Cecil leaned toward him. Branches came down, touching them gently. 

“You two are lovely, just so lovely,” the trees whispered as Cecil kissed Carlos gently, and his world went black. 

 

Carlos felt himself come back to with a splitting headache. “Ughh…” 

“Oh! You are alive! Are you okay?” A gentle and concerned voice broke through his haze, forcing Carlos to open his eyes.

His head was pounding but he managed to focus on the dark skinned man standing before him, with dark brown hair and concerned eyes. He distantly thought that this man looked an awful lot like the cat from his dream. If that was a dream. His dry tongue slipped out to wet his dry lips, and he managed, “What happened?” 

“Oh… your science thingy exploded and you slammed against the tree and knocked yourself out… I thought you were dead!” the man bit his lip. “But I’m glad to see you’re alright. Someone as handsome as yourself… it would be a shame if you were dead.” 

Carlos held his head. “Yeah, it would be a shame if I were dead…” he glanced at the man. “... You seem really nice. Would you mind giving me a lift home? And maybe coffee another time?” 

The joy on the man’s face at hearing the question was enough to almost make Carlos’ headpain go away. Smiling, he let the man help him up and toward the parking lot their cars were at.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. :) Much appreciated. Link to my tumblr is [here](http://nerdcaptorari.tumblr.com/). Come talk to me if you want, I like people. I reblog Night Vale stuff. Also, I will take suggestions for stuff. :x Just let me know.


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